Dear Ingrid!

It’s nice that for Valentine’s Day you gave me a parrot that looks as though it was made by Lada, but if it continues going on like this, we’ll soon be living in a zoo instead of a house. Just remember how last year you gave me an ostrich and the year before that two chimpanzees. I won’t even mention the elephant that we’ve had in our garden for the past three years. Just imagine what could happen if you gave me a crocodile next time. With my luck, it’s likely he’d bite off all my fingers and maybe even my toes. And you wouldn’t want that, would you? So I beg you, buy me something different for Valentine’s Day next year. Just no more animals.

Your loving husband Jenda.